IBR 2011

Prologue: Or how does a normally sane individual get into the insanity?
Mike Kneebone, Ron Ayres, Michael Boge.  In order they created the modern Iron Butt Rally, inspired a generation of Long Distance Riders, and Michael (a 2007 and 2011 IBR Finisher) simply talked with my wife Kay and I at the 2007 Iron Butt Rally Finish in St. Louis.  Talking with Michael led me to believe a businessman with a strong family ethic, in other words, a regular guy, could in fact compete in this, the premier Long Distance Riding Event in the world. Well, maybe I could too. 13,000 total miles later on the trip, 9100 miles in the 2011Rally itself, I'm pretty sure of it.

My first Long Distance (LD) Rally would be the 2008 Not Superman Rally, hosted by Rallymaster, Jim Puckett in Cape Girardeau, MO.  It would also nearly be my last. I entered in the Novice Event, a 12 hour Rally. I finished , and quite frankly wondered if this Rally thing was really for me. A fellow competitor, who finished above me, was delightfully telling us at dinner, how he did not know his bike would do 125 mph until this Rally as he was a little behind getting back to the Rally Site. Efficiency is the key, not speed, I have since learned. Fortunately, I learned this and continued on. In a LD Rally, the Rallymaster sets up bonuses (places normally) that are worth various points. Sometimes you take a picture, get a receipt, or answer a question.  Anyone who has been to the Moonshine Run will probably recognize this spot.

In 2009 I ran the Not Superman Rally again, only this time the 54 hour version. I found quickly I liked the longer format, where consistency and planning became more important. Moving on to 2010,  again competing in the NSR and also was fortunate to be drawn for the Iron Butt 5000, the first 5 day Rally put on by the Iron Butt Association. Most importantly, if you were a Finisher in the IB5000, you got a no draw spot into the 2011 Iron Butt Rally. Sign me up. After a very conservative ride in the IB5000, my spot was assured for the IBR 2011. Oh my, be careful what you wish for! To this point my Rallies had been, 12 hours, 54 hours, 30 hours and 5 Days. If you add those up, it comes to 9 days. My next Rally would be longer than all 4 previous Rallies combined. Sound like fun!

IBR Prep

My bike (a 2007 BMW R1200RT) setup is pretty typical for a IBR participant. Which is to say that the bike is pretty much not recognizable by normal human beings. Let's start at the front and work back. Motolights for visibility. Hella Xenon HID Micro DE's for the big light. Think 747 landing lights for the uninitiated. Change all the bulbs in everything before the ride, including turn and brake lights. Escort 8500 hooked to a Marc Parnes flashing light. EzPass and Sun Pass transponders to not have to stop for tolls from Chicago to Florida. Two Garmin 478's one with XM Radio and High Def Doppler Radar. Why two? in case one breaks and I only want to learn one system. The XM and the GPS voice prompts go through a Mix It 2 with the GPS on the priority channel. Also I have my IPod in case the radio goes out. I can never remember more than three songs while riding, and I scare the crap out cattle at night with my voice. I also have a Spot Satellite Locator. Kay knows where I am all the time and it has a 911 feature that will work without a cell phone signal. I also have a CB that the sound goes through into my in helmet speakers. Also I have 4 clocks with the 4 US Time Zones, so I don't have to do the math. The underside of the fairing looks like a spaghetti factory. I have a custom made Russell seat, that is perfect for me. In my tank bag is a 100 ounce insulated Camelbak. My main source of nourishment on rallies also comes from here in the form of jerky, lemon drops and Clif Bars. Yum, yum. Behind me is a BLM Auxiliary Fuel Cell, which holds 4 gallons. This gives me at least a 400 mile range. On it I have a back pad, and a storage bag behind and on top. Hyperlites are on the back with a lot of reflective tape. On to the Rally itself.

The Ride to Seattle
This is what we knew about how we would spend the next two weeks or so. We would start in Seattle, have a checkpoint in Buffalo and Jacksonville, and end 11 days later in Ontario, CA. Oh, and probably ride around 9000 to 13000 miles in between. I know people who take two weeks to plan a weekend trip to the Lake of the Ozarks. Rally Riders are a bit different. I went out to Seattle early for a few reasons. I could set up in the Rally Hotel and get some work done, get a fresh oil change, and get some rest. Uneventful ride out, and so often happens on LD Rides, I ran into a fellow rider Steve Aikens. We rode together for a while, stayed at the same hotel, and swapped (lies) stories at dinner.
Things started picking up on Thursday as more Riders arrived. New friends were met and old acquaintances revived. At the IB5000 Banquet, I sat at a table of Canadians, was dubbed an Honourary Canadian, it was good to see Perry Karsten, Peter Delean, Jennyfer Audet, Jacques Titolo, and Darren Hicks. Also Bob Chadwick  from the Kansas City, MO area and many others I knew from the NSR Rally. My native state of Missouri was well represented, with besides myself and Bob, Michael Mehaffy, Mike and Betty Ligons, and Aaron and Rena Miller.

Tech Inspection
Pretty much a non event for me, as I am meticulous by my estimation, borderline OCD by others. I had ridden my bike to the IBA Pizza Party at Daytona, which is actually in Jacksonville and they don't serve pizza. There Tom Austin  had given his blessing so I felt confident, it would be easy and it was. Also we  were videotaped basically saying we knew the risks, bad things could happen and other fun stuff. We had to have Medjet Insurance, but we carry that all the time anyway.

Rookie Rider Meeting
There were 60 some rookies of  the 87 Riders to start. Jeff Earls (an icon of the sport) gave us a detailed, factual and slightly scary outline of what we could expect. It was sobering, and at least a couple of people considered dropping out at that time. But they didn't. It did confirm my original goal. Be conservative and be a Finisher. Finishers get 3 digit IBA numbers. There are 40,000 + IBA Members. Only 403 people had ever finished an Iron Butt Rally. I badly wanted one of those numbers. At this time my IBA is 24349. Only Finishers of the Iron Butt Rally get the numbers lower than 2000.

Rider Meeting
The IBA had a special forum on their website just for Riders in the IBR 2011. Rampant wouldn't quite cover the speculation voiced over this year's format. Talk of Nexus cards to get in and out of Canada. Huge points for Alaska, Prudhoe Bay? Starting in Seattle, home of the Space Needle, a space or aeronautical theme? With the Jimi Hendrix and Nirvana exhibits, a rock and roll theme? You name it, it was out there. How wrong we were. In previous Iron Butts, the routing had gotten more and more complex, so much that most Riders were using spreadsheets to optimize routes and scoring. This year would be different.
To be a Finisher one had to collect a receipt, time stamped, dated, city and state, one from each state, and no fuel log. Wow, that seems simple enough. But just like on late night TV ads, wait, there's more. 4800 extra points for going to Hyder AK. 4800 more points for going to the 4 Corners of Blaine, WA, Madawaska, ME, Key West, FL, and San Ysidro, CA. There would be call in Bonuses, excruciatingly simple in theory, overwhelming hard in execution for some, rest bonuses, (it's like getting paid to sleep) and bonuses for Capitals, the harder ones to reach, gather the most points. Typically in Iron Butt History, the Bonus Points get bigger as the Rally advances. You don't know this for sure, as you only know the points of the first leg. As they say, "The fight doesn't always go the strongest, or the race to the

Dale "Warchild" Wilson and Rallymaster Lisa Landry

swiftest, but that's the way to bet." This IBR would be no exception. As soon as Tom Austin goes through the Route, the Rallymaster Lisa Landry is the most important person in the World to us, ex our families. She is the one that will get the call if there is an emergency. She is the one who will receive the calls from bleary eyed Rally Riders at 3 AM with the questions on a Bonus. As was mentioned to us in our meetings, the IBR owns us for the next 11 days. The IBR may own us, but Lisa holds the deed.

The chaos just before the start.

Day 1

Perry Karsten just to be sure
he remembers, writes
clutch on left, brake on right.

Routing usually goes into the small hours of the night. Not this time. So, you should get more sleep right? Not really, as it turns out, as I do not sleep well before any big ride, especially a Rally. Eventually, I get to sleep. Alarm goes off, and holy crap, this is real, I am in the IBR. Walking downstairs, I can sense little panic even among us Rooks, anticipation and excitement rule the day. Last minute equipment checks, I did fill the gas yesterday right?, and other pre Rally jitters are the rule of the day. Dale "Warchild" Wilson holds the last Rider Meeting in the parking lot. I want to tell you something about Dale. He might not want this to get out, but I'm going to do it anyway. He's actually a nice guy. No, really. He does a great deal to hide this fact, but when push comes to shove, he will do what he can to help a rider, whether it is to get through tech inspection, or many other things he has done through the years. But just keep it to yourselves.  John Young on his 43 year old Triumph (just realized that bike is 19 years older than the IBR's youngest this year, Brian Bray) was waved to the front by Wilson. Good choice. When Wilson points to you, you better be ready, as he will skip you if you're not. At that point all preparation is out the window. You have only two thoughts. Do not kill the bike, do not drop the bike. If you do it will instantly be on everyone's website and youtube with pictures and videos. Whew, passed that test. Out onto the street. Personal admission. I had wondered how it would feel to leave, to actually be in the IBR. I was just a little emotional. I can get teared up hearing the National Anthem, or watching an episode of Friday Night Lights, so I guess I should have seen it coming. But I didn't. Having already decided not to go for the 4 Corners, I turned toward Umatilla, Oregon for my first receipt, riding all the way across Washington. From there  I got a receipt in Washington  and then one in Idaho. I rode uneventfully all the way to Helena, MT, took the Capital Picture and then found a Comfort Inn for the night. Saw Jeremy Loveall and another rider at the Capital, a recurring theme as it seems incomprehensible that with only 87 riders you could keep running into them but we did. Approximately 730 miles.

Day 2
Headed out after a good nights sleep to dip into Wyoming, at Ranchester. Several other riders are there as we get fuel. Reciept is bad at the pump, but can print a good one (date, time, city, state) inside. We have to also jot down our mileage. We need the reciept and have it written in our Passport (Rally Book) to get the credit. On to North Dakota. As I approach North Dakota, I notice a funny looking deposit on my final drive. It is dry, so I hope it is brake dust. I feel the drive and it is not hot to the touch, good, dry, good, but what the heck is that? I call Engle Motors in KC and get my BMW Guru, Bob on the phone and he has me do some checking, and tells me to go ride it. It has no symptom of a final drive failure. So I do. It is no secret that BMW has had some final drive issues, so we are probably as a whole a little paranoid. You know the saying, "It pays to be paranoid, if you know they are after you." Anyway, on to Bismarck. It has been raining for most of North Dakota, as I am advancing to Bismarck to get the Capital picture, (undoubtedly the ugliest Capital in the US) I see a sign that says slow down, water on Interstate. Wow, water should not be on the Interstate. Speed limit drops to 25 and it's only about an inch so all's good. I glance over to my left shoulder and realize that the lake level is higher than my head. It is only being held back by one of those booms like they used in the Gulf. I am one boom away from being swept two states south. I was glad to be past that. At Bismarck, I run into Jeremy again and Jacque and Jennyfer. Did I mention it's one ugly capital? My goal is Fargo, luckily, I didn't make it that far. At Valley City, ND I was tired of fighting the rain and pull in around 10:30 PM at an Americinn. Only non smoking room is one under construction. OK. It has blankets over the windows instead of curtains . Disclosed. Neither the door lock, dead bolt or security bar work. Undisclosed. Chair under the door handle, it's all good. Pouring rain, no restaurant in walking distance. It's my fourth Clif Bar of the day or what's in the machine. Honey Bun and a cold water. Outstanding. The lucky part is that with all the flooding in the North, all the rooms in Fargo are sold out. Perry Karsten, my unoffical countryman tells me at the checkpoint, he has to drive another 100 miles in the rain. Yech. Good luck is better than bad luck. Nighty night. 950 miles.

Day 3
Misting rain only in the morning, on to South Dakota, dip into to get a reciept, then go across the corner of South Dakota to Minnesota, then over to St. Paul for the Capital then over to Wisconsin for a reciept. This was the rain day. The rain that was around in North Dakota followed us around like a bad debt. It was raining so hard in Des Moines I drove right past the Capital to keep moving. The unthinkable had happened in Iowa a week before, Interstate 29 had been closed by Missouri River flooding. I am from Missouri and I had never heard of that happening, even in the so called 500 year flood in 1993. Because of that and the fact that 136 in Missouri and Highway 2 into Nebraska were closed, all those trucks were now on I 80, and it was not pretty. Using my local knowledge, I decided to go straight to St. Joseph, MO and spend the night, get my rest bonus and head to Nebraska via Kansas the next morning. Getting my full 8 hour rest was a plus, and I was in familiar territory. The urge was strong to sleep in my own bed 80 miles further south, but that would mean three less hours of sleeping and more travel time.Like many very tempting things in life, not the right thing. Bryan Bray was staying right across the street and we ran into each other at the convenince store we were using for our reciepts. This would be a recurring theme in the Rally as we did this many times. I think Bobby Fox was right around there too. One bad result of the flooding was that all the animals were concentrated in a much smaller area. Deer strikes were up a lot in the surrounding counties as the Missouri River was 10 miles wide in some areas. All those deer were up in the hills now. 815 miles.

Terry Neale took this in Kentucky.

Day 4
Got the Receipt in Fall City, NE and one in Kansas, and I was on my way. Before I left the hotel that morning, I called Engle Motors in KC, and left a message I would be there about 9:30, and how about a new set of tires and change the final drive oil? The final drive weirdness was still in the back of my mind from a couple of days ago. I pulled in at 9:35 AM, the tires were sitting out and they took me right in. I had called Kay and she met me there, it was great to see Her!  The time I took to get tires meant I missed Topeka, KS and Jefferson City, MO but I was glad to do it. I had shipped mounted tires on wheels to the Buffalo checkpoint and was going to change them in the parking lot. That would have taken me at least 2 hours, and now I didn't have to. The Staff at the hotel at Buffalo had never had anyone not open packages before, but a nice tip took care of their bewilderment, and the tires got back to KC before I did. By the way I 70 in Illinois sucks! Man was that rough. Easy to tell the state is about bankrupt. Indiana, I picked up the Capital and head to Kentucky. Saw Terry Neale at the gas station in Kentucky. Headed north wanting to get on the north side of Cincinnati to miss the morning traffic and stopped to get some food at a Waffle House. Waffle House receipts are the stuff of legend in LD Rallies, but we will save that for another time. Waffle Houses are normally the bain of LD Riders as the heavy carbohydrate meal will put you to sleep, and that is exactly what I wanted. There were several motels, but the closest was the Mxxx Inn (name withheld pending notification of next of kin, please read on), looked OK, obviously busy, so I inquired of a room. Only non smoking was a double bed room with two beds, I told the clerk I could sleep sideways, that was fine. Later I discovered a choice of beds was a good thing. Old school, two story outside entrance, grabbed my stuff and went to the room. Looked OK from the outside, still OK from the inside. At $45.00, it seemed a good deal.  Pulled the sheet down on one bed, hmm, blood stains, hopefully the sheet had been washed. Pulled down the other bed, better, no blood stains. Took a shower, plenty of hot water. Started to brush my teeth. We all live by certain assumptions. One is that water comes out of the bottom of the faucet. Simple enough really. Not in this room. It came straight out the side and hit the wall, at great velocity. To capture water in a glass I had to hold the cup 90 degrees straight out to get 1/3rd of a cup. Unusual, but LD Riders can adapt. At least I had cable and could catch the Weather Channel, heck I had 18 channels. All 18 channels, snow, with no sound. Hmm again. Luckily my Android was the only thing working in the room and got my weather there. Called the Desk Clerk to let him know of the problems as I did not want to get charged extra for a faucet that went sideways. He at least pretended to be interested in my problems. Interesting day. 790 miles.

Day 5
Up and at 'em and headed to Columbus to get the Capitol shot. I try to stop where I can throw the Rally Flag over the windshield and get a quick shot. Not working in Columbus, Security Gruards, Cops and Capitol Guards not buying that one. Finally parked in a no parking spot on a side street, jumped off bike, hung flag and gone in less than 60 seconds. Now I'm headed to just north of Toledo to pick up a receipt in Michigan. You get a clue here in the Rust Belt, just how many places have closed. Rode by a big sign for Jeep Plant, parking lot and the security turnstile where the employees filed in to work. Missing however, was the plant, completely gone, just a flat very large concrete slab. Like someone just came in and carried it away. Sometimes, we think we're smarter than the Garmin. Most times we're not. This was one of those times. I showed the nearest gas station at the next exit, but it was a busy intersection on an limited access highway. Must be some sort of receipt. Nope. So I loop around through the country, some truck farms, country stores no gas, until I come to the road I was supposed to get off on. Pleasant drive, probably 30 minutes wasted. Garmin wins again. Back on the highway, Cleveland here I come. Ran through rain several times which I have always done on the south side of Lake Erie, on to Pennsylvania, got a receipt and move on to Buffalo. Little traffic jam, lost 30 minutes or so, but arrived in plenty of time. Since I was ahead of the window, I decided to get gas so I would have my NY receipt and have a full tank to leave with in the morning. I went inside to buy something after filling up and walked up at he same time as a young lady did. We sort of looked at each other for a few seconds, and then I motioned her ahead. In those few seconds, we had sort of looked at each other in a quizzical manner. She saw me, with 5 days of gray beard, flipped up white helmet with many bug spots, not smelling too fresh, Hi Viz Kevlar jacket with even more obnoxiously colored stripes, grungy grime covered boots and black riding pants with Hi Viz stripes on them. I looked at her and I saw a 20 year old, with chartreuse and pink hair, piercings on more places than I knew could be pierced, concert t shirt of a band I had never heard of, mini skirt and to finish the delightful ensemble, lineman boots with pink striped socks over the knees. We exchanged glances and it was obvious we had something in common. For at that moment we shared the same thought. What a freaking weirdo!
Scored, ate the buffet saw Matt Watkins which was confusing at the time as I knew he was in the 1088 Rally, not the IBR. Found out later that a big bonus in that Rally was to show up and get a picture at the IBR Checkpoint in Buffalo. Rallymasters are a devious lot. 615 miles.

Day 6
Got the Rally Pack at 4 AM, no surprises. All the bonuses were higher as expected. Headed out intending to go straight to Albany, but long rides on Interstates give Riders much time to think, some times too much. On a flower sniffing ride with some of my KC Riding Peeps, I had been to Montpelier and the ride was lovely, so with a little rerouting while riding I set sail for the Capitol of Vermont. I try not to take extra photos on Rallies, which is hard for me being a little of a photo nut. Pretty much my life's motto is: If it's worth doing, it's worth doing to excess.  I didn't take this photo at a T Intersection, but I should have. Directly in front of me is a Dunkin Donuts. There is only one thing in front of it, a directional sign. On it are directions to three offices, and three offices only. The Police Department, the Sheriff's Office and the Highway Patrol. You can't make this stuff up. Off the Interstate and on roads that have curves, wow. At some point Shuey Wolfe and I are on the same route and played tag a few times all the way to Montpelier, got the photo and moved on. I was crossing into New Hampshire not too far from Mount Washington when I saw something in a lake out of the corner of my eye. I whipped around, and it was a moose. Big deal, they're  a dime a dozen up there. Except for me. It has become a running gag, that I will never see a moose. I have ridden Canada pretty much end to end, Yellowstone, Glacier, Alaska the northeast and northwest US, the UP, everywhere in moose country and have never seen one. I had come up with a theory that the only moose that existed were actually tame ones that the Forest Service let out at Tourist Points so tourists could say they had seen a moose and perpetuate the myth. Well, maybe I was wrong on that one. But my proof isn't absolute. Maybe that was that one of them?  I broke my photo rule, which may prove it was more of a guideline. By the way, I do NOT want to see one on the road, especially at night. On to Augusta, ME, Boyer and someone else was there at the same time. Got the photo and moved on. Ride going great until I get to Massachusetts. Rain, hard rain, decide to pull off the Interstate and figure how far to the Capitol. Get gas, take a chance my bike will still be there after I go to the Restroom, get lucky it still is, and decide I will just use my receipt and not get the Capitol. So I pull back on the street and it is only 13 miles to get back on the Interstate! Went through questionable neighborhoods, OK neighborhoods and really questionable neighborhoods, through Big Dig Tunnels, hit a couple of potholes so big I though I saw Volkswagen Beetles in them and finally back on the Interstate. Raining hard I look for motels on the GPS. Find three on an exit and head for a Hampton Inn. If you were running a Hampton Inn and a very wet, obviously tired and ready to stop Rider stopped in, what would you do? Take pity on him, especially as he announced he was a Gold Hilton Honors Member, a AAA member, and AARP member, give this obviously loyal patron a break? Or would you stick it to him figuring no way this crazy old coot is going to get back on that ridiculous looking bike dripping like he just got dunked at the County Fair? I gladly paid the highest rate of the trip $159.00. Compassion is apparently not in the training manual there. 800 miles

Day 7
The alarm goes off,  jump up to see no rain. Yeah. Head off to Rhode Island. I have decided to skip, the Capitols in Rhode Island and Connecticut. They are very few points and I have a long ride today. Good choice as it turns out. I get receipts in Rhode Island, Connecticut, and New Jersey. It's my third time riding through NYC, and I am still amazed. Amazed at all the architecture and amazed people live there, so massed together. Too much of a country boy for that. The skyline is magnificent and I make good time with only a short wait on the George Washington Bridge. Now is a good time to tell you if you ever drive from Chicago to Florida, get an EZ Pass. Worst you do, is go up to a gate and it magically opens. Best is some of the toll plazas you can drive through at 65 mph. It must have saved me many hours on the trip. I got mine through Illinois. I was on my way to Dover when I saw a Rider parked in a strip mall.     Something told me there might be a  problem, so I whipped back around and stopped. He was flustered, hot, probably a little dehydrated and insisted he was OK. He couldn't decide on whether to go ahead and get the Capitol. We talked about it a bit, he cooled down and drank some water, and relaxed. He insisted he was OK and he was as I saw him twice more that day, looking like a different person. The name here isn't important. I felt good for stopping. It is amazing how talking to and seeing another IBR Ride can be a lift. After all who else really gets it? On to Annapolis, MD, should be quick in and out on a Sunday afternoon. Except for the closed streets and the street fair that was going on. Three of us got very lucky as we circled for the third or fourth time, someone was leaving. We all three squeezed in and got our picture. Now I was headed to Harper's Ferry WV, to get my receipt. Glad I let Garmin take over, as there was a new Interstate I didn't know about. As you cross the Potomac you turn right and you are actually in VA, go a little ways and you are in WV. As I turned right there was 6-8 miles of stop and go traffic, all making a left turn at a stoplight leaving the WV mountains for the weekend, headed back to DC and Baltimore. Uh, oh. My dry clutch and air cooled engine could not do that. I stopped at a gas station and asked a patron there who was wearing West Virginia Mountaineers shirt and cap (figured him as a local) of an alternate route to Richmond and or I 95. He gave great directions and I headed off towards Richmond VA. Through WV down to western VA by many horse farms, old stone fences of Civil War or earlier vintage and great little villages. What a beautiful area. Finally back to 95, get the Capitol in Richmond and head south to get on the edge of town for the sprint to Jacksonville tomorrow. On 95 I saw something that struck me as incredibly funny at the time. I saw a State Trooper giving some gas to a stranded motorist. Nothing to see here. Well it was a Prius Pilot standing beside the car. So, not only did she run the car out of gas, she also ran it out of battery. Isn't this sort of the ultimate reserve tank?  I can just hear the Trooper calling that one in.  I pull into the ideal IBR Motel. Room at a reasonable price, 24 hour Subway next door and a Shell Station across the street. I find out the next morning Peter Delean stayed in the hotel on the other side of the Subway.  I check into the Hampton Inn and I hear something I have not heard at a Hilton Property in a long time. Smoking or Non Smoking. I explain I use Hamptons a lot and have never been asked that. He said he gets that a lot, about then I remembered passing the Phillip Morris corporate office a bit ago. Seems if you want to do business with them, you've got to give the option. Long day, but I am disappointed to figure I can get a good sleep or get the big points in Atlanta. As I have done all Rally, I decline the points and take the rest. 3 digits is the goal, 3 digits is the goal, my mantra for the ride. 1120 miles

Day 8
Decision time. Since I have slept so well, no Atlanta. NC and SC Capitols are not too far off the highway. I decide not to do it. I have kept well rested so far and I do not know how much traffic I am going to run into coming into Jacksonville. Turns out to be nada. But I come in early, do a little bathtub laundry, get scored, eat and go back to the room to look at the maps, yes maps. This had been a rally that maps have been more than dead weight in the saddle bag. I wanted to make my decision about the Capitols before I saw the points. I was on my way to be a Finisher. Well rested, at least by Iron Butt standards, roughly three thousand miles and 13 receipts to go. I figured I could move up 10 to 15 spots by going after a couple of big point Capitols. I would still have time to catch a couple of hours sleep before heading to Ontario and the finish. 10 or 15 spots would be 10 or 15 lower number for my three digit IBA number. To this point I had not ridden one mile on a secondary road after dark. All night time riding had been on Interstates. This was not by luck alone, when I heard what the plan was to be a Finisher, it seemed possible I could do this. It actually only took me about 5 minutes, to make the decision. I was headed to the barn. I was taking the "easy" way. By the way the "easy way" was a Saddlesore 3000, 3 consecutive 1000 mile days, after having ridden for 8 days.  Strangely enough, that seemed "easy" to me at that moment, and I slept soundly, plans laid, with visions of 3 digits and a IBR License Plate Backer dancing in my head. I knew that some would scoff, at the conservatism, but I couldn't care less. My plan had been to be a Finisher, and I was not going to change the plan now. 625 miles

Day 9

Off to the west. I have been up and down I 10 a few times, Jacksonville IBA Pizza Party, 50CC, flower sniffing ride, and I will say this for it. It moves along very well. A nice pace, you get to cross the Suwanee River, and they even have the music on the bridge in case I guess you have a keyboard along. I didn't but couldn't help but trying a verse or two. I scared a few birds and animals, and went back to listening to XM. I get the receipt for Alabama, cross into Louisiana, and am ready to get some ice in my Camelbak and some McDonalds chicken strips for me. I am really not a big chicken guy, but I know I can get a good receipt. Here is where a funny thing happens. I am on the west side of the restaurant and the GPS says go west to Jackson, MS, as I curl around to the east side it says go right. There are two roads heading north and apparently this McDonalds parking lot is the line of demarcation from going one way or the other. So I go blindly by the Garmin lady (I use that term loosely) and find that if I had looked at a map I would have gone west, as I end up having to cut over the Interstate on a State Road. Sometimes, seemingly bad things turn out OK. As I headed north, I noticed a very large black high topped cloud. Checking the 478 Radar it did not look good. I had to get to Tennessee, so I had no real options as the clouds were probably 80-100 miles wide. I stopped in a small town to get gas, as the gusts got stronger and stronger. I went inside the station to see what would develop. In 10 minutes it was gone.    
I got on and rode. The foreboding front was still there. Now comes the lucky part. If I had gone the western route I would have been blasted with a lot of rain and I expect wind. On my slightly more eastern route, the clouds were parting like Moses going through the sea. The split was small, but it was there, with storms to my right and left I motored happily along. Never had a drop. On I went to Memphis, after getting my receipts in the southern states. My only trip to Memphis ever without either eating at the Rendezvous or Corky's. Bummer. I'm a KC BBQ guy but Memphis is my second favorite style. Sorry Carolinas and Texas. Got to Little Rock a little after dark, got the photo, just about was gone from taking it, while parked in maybe a little illegal place when the Capitol Guard patrol car pulled up. Oops. "You one of them Iron Butt guys?" As I think to myself, it would be a heck of a coincidence if a non Iron Butt Guy pulled up at that time of night to take a picture of the Arkansas Capitol, while having some laundry draped over his bike? Now wouldn't it. That's what I thought. What I said was: "Yes Sir I am." I have seen several of you guys tonight. Where you headed? Just to get a motel room here in town. "The other guys are going to Conway." I discovered in about 10 minutes why. They had probably already checked because the whole town was sold out, for some kind of conventions. After a little dialing, a Hampton Inn was discovered, a little up the road. Rest Bonus coming up. Even though it couldn't start until midnight. 1040 miles

Day 10

About 10% of the smoke over New Mexico.

Headed out later than normal from the rest stop with plans to get no Capitols. Even though Oklahoma was very close I just motored on. Texas was hot, New Mexico was hot. The fires at Los Alamos were huge at least by the smoke cloud that went horizon to horizon. And out there the horizon goes on forever. Went on in to Albuquerque, got a room, ate at Denny's, gassed up and had a good sleep. At least I would get a little scenery tomorrow. More than I knew. 905 miles.

Day 11

My plan was to meet my wife Kay in Ontario late that day, or early the next morning. I headed for the 4 Corners. If we took a picture our Rally Flag at the 4 Corners Monument we didn't have to get the receipts for the 4 states, New Mexico, Colorado, Utah and Arizona. This really saves two states, Colorado and Utah, as you are pretty likely to get one in the other states anyway. On I go to Shiprock, NM. On a regular motorcycle trip I would have had to take a picture of rock that looked like a ship. Not an ordinary trip, so I didn't even ask where it was. On to the 4 Corners. I took my picture, trying to keep my head down so as not to attract a group of cruiser riders would not strike up a conversation. They did anyway. Where I was headed? I couldn't resist LA, pause for effect, later today. Whew, we don't go quite that far in a day. Really? I replied. Although by looking at them in their sleeveless shirts, helmets strapped to the bikes, no ear plugs and nothing to keep the beating desert sun off them, I wasn't surprised. We're headed to New York. Cool trip I replied. We left LA 3 days ago. You from Missouri? I wanted to say nope, I stole the plates from the last guy who asked a lot of questions when I was writing in Rally Book and beat him down with the plate. What came out was, Yep. What's the best way across? I 70 if you are in a hurry. No we are only going 200 to 300 hundred miles a day. Then go US 160 and cross at Cape Girardeau. Thanks. Doing the quick math, I realized that I would probably be back home in Missouri before they got there. They had a 1000 to go, I had 2500 and a day layover. To get the receipts from Utah and Colorado was only a 40 point bonus they had thrown in. I didn't need the receipts, because I had the 4 Corners, but I got them anyway. OCD coming out. I was taking no chances of not getting all 48. Leaving I got a receipt in Colorado at an Indian Casino, and headed back southwest. Now the fun begins. My first sandstorm. I have ridden in plenty of high winds. I had never ridden in one that drifted sand like a North Dakota snowstorm. I found sand in places that I didn't know I had places. It must be like your tires are running on sand paper. Oh well, as I turned north to Bluff, Utah to get the redundant receipt, at least it was behind me. Got the receipt and started to head back down the sandstorm road. Garmin Lady said no take the other road. I didn't think it would be worse than a sandstorm, so off I went. Into Monument Valley. Wow, I had never been there before. I think it may be the prettiest spot in the Southwest I have ever been too. I'm going back when I can take the Jeep tour. I broke my guideline again, and took the Forrest Gump picture with my bike in it. How could you not? Back on the bike, headed to Flagstaff, stop for my receipt and a quick bite at McDonalds and see a IBR Bike in the lot. Dave Hembroff is inside and we chat while eating. Heading for Nevada. It is 113 degrees as I pull off in Bullhead City, on to Laughlin, NV moving on. It is easy to see that California has no money. The Interstate was great in Arizona and crap in California. I found it pretty much impossible to pick out any wildlife in the median as the little dark shrubs, (cedar maybe) waving in the wind look like somethng ready to come out. You could tell there is no snow in LA, as the grade coming down the mountain would be a skating rink if there were. For those who haven't ridden into LA, you see all the lights and think, wow, I must be almost there. If almost is at least an hour, you are almost there. I get to the Doubletree and am very happy to see Kay waiting for me. The Spot let her know when I would be there.

Scoring
After  a shower and beer or two in the Bar, I went to sleep and woke up to be scored. This is my fifth Rally and I have never lost a point at the Scoring Table and this one proved no exception. My Finisher Status looked good, pending the final audit.

Banquet
The Banquet was a lot of fun. Bob Higdon of course offered his words of "let's call it wisdom", and explained how Lady Ga Ga was now his inspiration and his idol. Paws Up! As the names were called off we got up and got our IBR Plaque signifying our Finisher and above status. I found later that my new IBA number is 451. Cool!

Dean McCurdy,  Steve Aikens and I are admiring our first IBR Plaques. 

The Ride Home
Congrats you're an IBR Finisher. Now you get to ride home in 122 degree heat! It was only 113 for me because I left early. A couple of stops at McDonalds to cool down and get one of those lemonade and strawberry things. Hint, leave out the strawberry, it's so sweet your teeth will go on edge. Before I left I figured that Rifle CO was half way (800 miles) back to KC so I made reservations, so I knew I would have a room on the 4th of July weekend and so I wouldn't be tempted to go further. With all the snow melt, the Colorado was a bit high on I 70.

Last day ride home. Uneventful. fun, and a little sad. It was over, and the real world awaited. I like my real world, but I was feeling a little melancholy. Then I turned into my driveway, saw my wife and the sign my Grandkids, Mason and Landry had made.

How cool is that. The End.

PS Thanks to everyone whose pictures I poached off the web. I would thank the right individuals, but I didn't write the names down. Thanks!
For more info on the Iron Butt Rally 2011, go to http://www.ironbuttrally.com/IBR/2011.cfm